Presence Matters

I was recently reminded that presence matters. That how you show up and just the fact that you do show up means something. I’ve been at BFA (Black Forest Academy) for three months and have been with students in my school nurse/health office role for two months. When I type that out, I realize how little time that actually is! But something that has become clearer to me recently is that building relationship takes presence.

I went on the BFA Junior Class Trip to Normandy and Paris in the beginning of October. I spent four days and two overnight bus rides with 50 Juniors. We laughed and talked, and I got to know several of them just a tiny bit better. They went from nameless high school students to friendly kids who might say hi in the hallway if they passed me.

By the end of the trip, I was exhausted and ready to settle into a little bit of introversion here in Kandern. And then a group of Junior students, who I went on the trip with, saw me leaving my house one evening and excitedly exclaimed, “Miss Cayla, do you live here? Can we come over sometime?” Have you tried saying no to eager high school kids when they are asking to spend time with you? It’s hard. I said yes.

Flash forward a week and I welcomed 7 high schoolers into my tiny studio apartment. I made them dinner and we again talked and laughed. I got to know them a little bit more. What started on the Junior class trip was extended over brownies and dishes. Those once nameless high schoolers turned into kids who would stop by my office just to say hi or tell me about their day.

I have seen the impact that presence has firsthand as I witness the increasing vulnerability that these high school students have with me. The shared joke, the question about their upbringing, the open door of my office, all seem like small things but add together to matter.

As my presence becomes more established within the BFA community I look around and am so thankful that I have these next two years to invest. Before coming to BFA I joked that high schoolers terrified me, and I didn’t know how to talk to them. I have, in fact, asked several high school kids, “what’s your favorite color?” when there is a quiet moment in conversation. Not my best moment but I panicked.

However, as relationships deepen, I realize what a joy high school students are. It is the precious moment before full adulthood where they are seeking answers to hard questions, testing the boundaries, and still sometimes simply in need of a hug. It is a wonder to see personalities emerge and to be invited into a space where I can speak life and hope and truth over them.